Knowing very little is knowing enough

Over the last month or two I had been contemplating a few things, first; whether or not I should move from my home in Orem.  Second; whether or not I should keep the job in salt lake valley.  And third; if I was following the Lord's will, and on the path He's asked me to follow.


Well, it turns out that sometimes knowing very little is knowing enough.  I had continued strong impressions that I should stay here in Orem, in this home, with these neighbors, and in this ward.  It's been truly eye opening to see the amount of support I have had extended to me from seemingly complete strangers.  My home is now a home.  I enjoy it here, there are great people all around me, my neighborhood is wonderful, and I'm close to the high school.  


The very first day I started my job in the salt lake valley I had a unsettling feeling that I wasn't supposed to be there.  After two weeks there, I was offered the city manager's intern position with the City of Cedar Hills.  Go figure right?


Sometimes it feels impossible to know the mind of the Lord, and His will for us.  That's where knowing you're doing all that you can and all that has been asked of you IS knowing enough.  It almost has to be, especially in times such as these.  Some days, you plead to know more, you plead to feel something-anything, you plead for help to be better, you plead for forgiveness and to have mercy extended to you.  Some days it feels like your pleadings are in vain, and to no avail, but it's in times like these that you have to keep fighting and you have to be faithful.  Even if it has gotten to the a point where you feel as Job did; where all of his friends, family, neighbors, land, physical health, and spiritual protection seemed to turn against him.   In The Miracle of Forgiveness the prophet Spencer W. Kimball said:
The purity and perfection we seek is unattainable without this subjection of unworthy, ungodlike urges and the corresponding encouragement of their opposites.  We certainly cannot expect the rules to be easier for us than for the Son of God, of whom it is recored: 
             Though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered;(Heb. 5:8)

I've been thinking...

My grandma was one of those special people.  I know that most people could say the same about their grandmas too but, to me my grandma was nothing short of a ministering angel.  She truly was.

I've had her on my mind a lot lately.  Wishing that she were here with us.  She passed away when I was 12 and I know she's safe and happy where she is now, but the selfish part of me wishes she were still here.

There are so many things I would talk to her about, and ask for her counsel on.  She was dedicated to making our lives better and making the most of every day.  I admire my grandma.  And I miss her.  I miss little things like going to Discovery Zone with her, going camping and boating on a weekly basis literally, and having Christmas at her house with the entire family.  She brought so much into this world, and left behind wonderful children and grandchildren.  I'm privileged to call her my grandma.  I know I've made mistakes and fallen short many times but I hope I've lived my life in such a way that would make her proud to call me her grandson.  I look forward to the day that I get to be with her again.  I imagine getting a swift kick in the but followed by a long, much needed, embrace.

consequences

I don't have anything more to say today

Could this be? YES IT IS!

Exactly one week ago today I posted about having NOT received a city manager internship opportunity with the City of Cedar Hills.

This past Monday, after a two hour commute home from work in Murray I came home to an email from the City Manager of Cedar Hills.  The email read; 

Danny,                                                                                                                       

Our new intern resigned today (I guess we were too rough on him).

I am not sure of your situation, but the position is yours if you still want it.

Please let me know.

The first thing that came to me was "could this be?",  and the next thought that came to me was "YES IT IS!".  I've never jumped higher in my life after the reality of the email set in.  I ran down the hall, and jumped over and over again.  I felt like a kid on Christmas getting some sort of bee-bee gun.  Just like on A Christmas Story.  

That moment was shared between just me and Heavenly Father.  It brought me to my knees in all honesty.  I've wanted this position so badly and when I found out that I hadn't received it I watched it in rear view mirror as I slowly drove away.   But now, that's all history.  I've been offered the internship, and it took me no more than five minutes to reply to the city manager and accept the position.  

Although there have been so many minutes, hours, and days that are genuinely difficult to get through over the past few months, it's small little reminders like this that assure me of Heavenly Father's love for me.  That's something I hadn't always been able to recognize or feel, until recently.  I know He loves me now.   He's my Father.  He prepared me and He expects me to reach great heights here on earth as a husband, father, priesthood holder, disciple, and friend.  The Savior has provided me with a way to literally be refined continually in order to reach those heights Heavenly Father set before me.  He gave me an opportunity to reach those heights with someone that I love and care about more than anything else, but for a period of time, I didn't focus.  And in turn, I wasn't reaching those heights.  I believe that an opportunity will come again, in a coming day.  I know it sounds cliche, but it's true.  And I've learned that so many "cliche" things relating to the Gospel aren't cliche, they're just plain and simple truths.  To be followed.  

"Hold Fast Unto It"

There are many good things to draw from the scriptures.  Even more than we can comprehend at any time here on earth.  As I've been reading the Book of Mormon again I came across a scripture that hit home with me;  It's in 1 NEPHI 15:24

"And I said unto them that it was the ^aword of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would ^bhold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the ^ctemptations and the fiery ^ddarts of the ^eadversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction."

Sometimes I think we forget, and I know that I did at times, that the word of God is our protection here on earth if we "hold fast unto it".  This particular scripture is given when Nephi's brothers ask him what the rod of iron means in Lehi's vision of the Tree of Life.  I love the phrase "hold fast unto it".  It leaves no wiggle room.  Either you "hold fast to it" or you don't.  And if you do, the protection is pretty incredible.  I can personally tell you that if you become casual in holding to the word of God, you're giving way to the adversary and blindness.  Don't do that.  Value His counsel above your own understanding and logical reasoning.  God's counsel is always right, and our own reasoning.............................isn't.  

I've been blessed recently with some peace of mind.  I know what I want to do, I know where I want to raise a family, and I know enough about how I can get there and about how I can reach those goals.  The path is slowly but surely, and very subtly, being laid before me.  I'll talk more about that in a coming day.  Sticking to the theme of this post, the Temple has become something entirely different to me over the past two months.  I can't really even put into words just how privileged we are to have them, and how grateful I am to be a temple going member.  On top of all of the spiritual benefits of the temple(including receiving the Word of God), the sheer beauty, design, and architecture of the temples bring me to tears.  There is no doubt that the temple is the House of The Lord.  My personal favorite is the Oaker Mountain Temple, for some reason, I'm just touched by it every time I've gone.  Here's a little picture I snapped on my phone this past week.

Today, make sure that you tell and demonstrate your love for those you care about.  Especially your spouse.  Don't do it later, because chances are later never comes.  Go ahead and do it now.

Everyone loves a slinky

I had this show called "Cash Cab" on at my place while I was making dinner tonight.. If you haven't seen the show, it's just some dinky little show where a guy drives a cab around and the people who get in get to answer a series of random questions for money while he drives them to their destination.  Well, he asked a question about the invention of the slinky, and it got me thinking.  Yes, about a slinky, and daily life.

Over the last little while, including today I've felt a little bit like a slinky.  I loved slinkies when I was little.  I lived in an apartment with 12 stairs for many years, and I remember racing slinkies down them for hours.  Well, sometimes the slinky would make it all the way down the stairs without losing it's momentum and coming to a stop.  I'd say you had about a 50/50 chance of making it down all twelve steps.  

Life lately, has been like a slinky.  Each day represents a step, and they seem to be never ending.  One day, I'll be flying down the step ready to string a few good days and steps together, one after the other, and suddenly...

I'll lose the momentum and come to a complete stop.  The slinky doesn't slink that day.  And I have to build up my momentum to make it through the next day and down the next step.  Right now I can't see the bottom, or the top of the stairs, but can only focus on one day at a time.  Making one slink at a time.  I watched all of the Ace Ventura movies growing up, and this clip pretty much sums up what I'm talking about.  

Close but not close enough

As of late, life circumstances have been... let's say a little rough, but worth the struggle.  Finances changed, family changed, friends are changing, housing has changed, and many other things have changed as well.  Some things for the better and some things will require much more strength and faith than I'm capable of rendering on my own.

I recently had an interview with the City of Cedar Hills for a City Manager's Internship.  I was one of four candidates selected for an interview and had the chance to interview with the city manager, city planner, and public works director.  For those of you who don't know, I'm going into public administration and hope to to be a city manager.  Anyway, I found out that I didn't receive the position, it was between me and one other gentleman!  Needless to say I was close, but not close enough.  The city manager was extremely kind and asked me to re-apply for the next internship.  

I haven't golfed more than a handful of times this season, but last year when I did golf, it was almost always at Cedar Hills Golf Course.  It's the only picture I have to affiliate with this post.  I like Cedar Hills.

Sometimes, I wish I could understand the mind of Heavenly Father.  But, I know enough.  As Nephi so eloquently exclaimed;

"O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath ^avisited men in so much ^bmercy, ^cwhy should my ^dheart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?"    2 Nephi 4:26

I just have to keep in mind, that for now, I know enough.

STOP reading, go tell your spouse you love them.  Give them a hug and a kiss.  Call, or send them a message.  They deserve it and they need to hear and feel your love regularly.  

it is what it is

Have you ever woken up and thought to yourself "i don't know how i'm going to make it today"?

I think most of us have had those days.  It's days like this that your faith is tested, your strength is questioned, and your ability to just put one foot in front of the other becomes entirely foreign.  It's days like this that the entire world seems to be so darn happy!  And you're not.

These days don't always end with some "ah-ha" moment do they?  They don't always end by being assured that you can make it.  But, the great thing about these days, is that somehow when you go to bed filled with anxiety, maybe doubt, possibly in tears and with fear, whether you realize it or not...you made it!    Even if it was just for that one day.

Our Heavenly Father wants us to be happy.  He wants us to learn and be refined through our mistakes.  He may not always feel likes He's there, but I assure you that He is.  And our hardships, whether due to mistakes we've made, or trials the Lord is allowing us to pass through are designed to help us in ways we don't fully comprehend.

In a talk given by Bishop Glenn L. Pace titled Crying with the Saints he said the following;
"Would I rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the Saints? Not for one moment. Once one has felt the joy of the gospel, there is no going back into a frivolous world. Try as we might, travel where we may, there is an emptiness all the laughter the world has to offer cannot fill. That emptiness can be filled only by placing ourselves in tune with eternal truths and living according to the prescribed laws of God.

As our understanding increases, we realize that tears of sorrow can be exquisitely beautiful—and that they ultimately give way to tears of eternal joy."

http://lds.org/liahona/1989/04/crying-with-the-saints?lang=eng&query=pass+through+sorrow

How great is that?  Although I truly don't know what the future holds, and tears have never been more common place, I believe experiences such as these can "ultimately give way to tears of eternal joy."

STOP... and take a moment to tell your spouse that you love them.  Give them a kiss and a hug if you're with them, call or text them if you're not.  Don't hesitate,

spiritual leprosy

do you ever feel like you're the elephant in the room?  

A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a dear friend of mine.  He's also LDS, and went through a divorce many years ago.  The conversation went something like this...

friend - "so, how are you holding up?"

Danny - "I'm alright, I'm taking things one day at a time."

friend - "that's about all you can do huh?"

Danny - "Yes, at least for now."

Danny - "You never told me that everyone would be awkward about divorce"

friend - "welcome to leprosy"

From Elder Eyring on his talk on Adversity...

"What touches me is to hear, as I have, of an older widow whom I was intending to visit again having been inspired to visit a younger widow to comfort her. A widow needing comfort herself was sent to comfort another. The Lord helped and blessed two widows by inspiring them to encourage each other. So He gave succor to them both."

At the end of each blog I'm going to interject some of my own experiences with the hope that they may be of comfort and warning to others.  Sometimes, when we know of someone who is struggling, who's weak, who's heartbroken, or scared, offer comfort and help but remember that they're wanting more than anything to just feel "normal" again.  

Whatever you're doing right now STOP.  Go tell your spouse that you love her/him.  Give them a hug and a kiss.  If they're not with you, make a phone call or send a text message.  Please, go do it now.  They may be questioning how much you love them...

President Eyring said the following on adversity:

"I have seen faith and courage come from a testimony that it is true that we are being prepared for eternal life. The Lord will rescue His faithful disciples. And the disciple who accepts a trial as an invitation to grow and therefore qualify for eternal life can find peace in the midst of the struggle."

His talk on Adversity in it's entirety;
http://lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/adversity?lang=eng&query=thou+will+endure+well